Responding to Violence and Insanity

Susan Piver, on the natural response of anger, blame, and hatred for those who commit horrific crimes:

One could make a very powerful argument for each of these points. However, so fucking what. At this exact moment, they are all equally unhelpful and have one thing in common that makes them so: each is an effort to block pain. Each is meant to put something, anything between you and the contents of your heart at this exact moment. Blaming Islamists, guns, or politicians may be entirely reasonable and valid, but right now, it doesn’t matter.

Susan advocates for feeling before action: “Allow yourself to be absolutely, irredeemably heartbroken. Weep, sob, rage.” And to send your strength, bravery, peace, and open heartedness to the victims.

via Responding to Violence and Insanity (one Buddhist’s perspective) – Susan Piver.

How to Make a Marriage Work

Leo Babauta has some great tips on making a marriage work:

  1. Learn to resolve disputes with the other person’s heart in mind.
  2. Most disputes and other conversations are about two things: do you care about me, and can I trust you.
  3. Finances are the biggest source of friction for most couples.
  4. Sex is another source of friction.
  5. Don’t have kids early on.
  6. Be good at being alone separately.
  7. But make time for each other.
  8. You will both change.
  9. Appreciate the person for who they are.

Having been married for almost 13 years now, I wholeheartedly agree with all of these. Click through to read more from Leo!